The seasons are changing, you can feel it in the air.

Like turns in the weather, at certain crossroads in my life, I’ve felt intuitively that personal change was in the air. An exhilarating, but unavoidable call to do an abrupt about-face, or to scrap what I’m doing and start all over again. For me the only way I can explain this feeling is as a slight out of the ordinary psychic breeze that causes extrasensory goosebumps.

In reaction to that feeling I have consciously had to either choose to ignore it and stand stubbornly with my proverbial head in the sand, or choose to take a leap of faith to accept or hasten that change.

I’ve invariably chosen to leap.

Its not always an easy decision, and the rewards are not always immediate, but for me it has usually turned out well – if not, I have always learned from the experience. People call me ‘brave,” “adventurous,” even “dangerous.” But I embrace change. I even seek it out because I crave the possibilities it offers! And usually, I write about it. I believe change is a positive thing that breeds among other things, a suppleness, a resilience – the ability to bend and not break, and for me anyway, gives me stories to tell.

This year has brought about a tsunami of change. But 2020’s change is something different. In the past, these change urges have been mine.. intimate, limited to my own personal growth. This year feels different because the change is global, impersonal, and worse, like any form of collective behavior that develops within a culture (think stirrup pants, Furbys, or Instant Pots) it doesn’t feel like a decision, it feels more like we’re being swept along with the current, and only the worst people embrace it.

In 2020 we have no choice, change has taken us hostage. Change isn’t only in the air, it’s in the way we think, and move, it’s in the very substance of who we are. Instead of making thoughtful, deliberate decisions, it’s like if you don’t wake up every day willing to leap into change, you will be roadkill under the wheels. We fight it. We become brittle. And. It. Is. Exhausting.

In the six or so months since I’ve written a post here, all throughout Covid, working from home, isolation, racial unrest, economic crumble, and a news cycle about the current administration that is too bizarre to believe, (not to mention a bevy of personal upheavals) the winds of change have become weirdly enough, not only stronger than ever before, but so constant that I’ve become complacent and hardly notice. We are experiencing huge shifts in behaviors, expectations, terminology, and plans, but meh, no stories to tell, nothing worth writing about.

Well, that changes now. If I don’t grab the opportunity to write about what is happening, I will be forced into a mold like everyone else, and come to fear the very thing that inspires me. I need to memorialize my days, my journey, my ability to change.

Today it snowed. We had plans to do constructive things. But instead we made breakfast, and enjoyed the view.